DRÄ Studio

Pixel pushing and pencil shavings

Home Blog Projects Wallpapers Themes Fonts

Blog

Friday, the 17th

Posted on Wednesday, November 22nd, 2006 under Sketches | No comments

Argh! I have been putting this post off for a while now and THIS is only like the fouth version I have written. I keep trying to find the right words and emotions (or is that inflections?), but it keeps coming out wrong. Instead of sounding sincere, all I hear in my head is vapid and platitudinous. But I know I want to write something down. I know I need to remember this.

Today I experienced one of those moments in life that changes you forever. That shakes you hard and makes you wonder if you have anything left in your pockets afterwards. I'm sure you've undergone something similar. We all have. These are the moments that define who we are and where life is going to end up for us.

I had a friend tell me today that life would more than likely be taking them away from me soon -- that their future plans weren't going to keep them in that happy place right by my side. The news hit me hard; harder really than I could have thought it would. It was like a push into a dark corner and suddenly, I felt all alone.

Their news forced upon me the realization that no matter what I did, I would be forever losing friends; that I could kick and scream and protest all I wanted, but eventually I would lose those that I love. I found myself at the abrupt truth that the things I wished I could keep forever and the times I dreamed to never end, would soon be mere memories from a disconnected past. Life moves on and it rarely asks permission.

Without warning, I was standing face to face with an emotional wall that blocked the vision of my future. It was a wall covered over in letters; letters stamped and sealed, but never mailed ... each one addressed to a friendship long departed. I wanted to scream. I wanted to yell. I wanted to tear down every letter, every memory and just destroy them. Why even have had those happy times if they are only bitter reflections of moments you can never re-live.

sigh. I had wanted to say other things. So many other things. Something about broken dreams and fading childhood expectations. Something about loss. Something about hurt. Instead, I am finding only these words from Forever Changed:
I never want to say goodbye tonight. I’m staying here if that’s all right.
I’m never going to let you out of sight.
Don’t leave me now, just hold on tight.
There’s nothing left for me to do.
The plans we made have fallen through.
You just close your eyes and hold on to me.
It was hard letting go of you;
I never want to feel that way again.
You blink and life will pass you by.
Let love prevail now; don’t let it die.
I’ll take you in my arms we’re going home.
You’re not leaving here alone, not this time.
Well I don’t care what they say;
no one here is going to take you away.
Stand up one more time and hold on to me!
It was hard letting go of you;
I never want to feel that way again.
Can you recall what I said to you,
Just let it all out now, just let it all out now.
Don’t say goodnight.
Don’t say goodbye.
And these from 1 Corinthians 13:
[Love] bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.

Related Posts:

Beginning again
Have you ever arrived at that moment in life when you know that you have wanted to do something important; to get it done and feel good about it; to diligently stive to complete a task, both consistently and on schedule? Have you ever just wanted to start things over again and try once ...
Day 2008-1-5
Day 2008-1-5 (uploaded by DRA Studio)For my Jodie:“the ocean’s tide; it is calmed.the push of breeze; it is stilled.time itself finds a stopping place.In the moments when you are gone,Life is weak.”“And breathing; it is hard.the flow of feeling; it is numb.The mind has found a different pace.This heart I suffer and bearhas an aching ...
Changes (It's Saturday)
Life seems to be so very full of those. Changes. It has finally happened. Despite all the jokes and jabs and pretending to not be sad, the Wilsons have finally moved, and it hurts is so depressing. They haven't moved too far, but it is far enough. They haven't left us forever, but it has already ...
Mario and Me
I am still "getting caught up" on my designs, art and blogs, so go ahead and let this post fall somewhere among the ups and downs of the past couple of weeks ... For Jodie's birthday, I was finally able to get her the much sought-after Nintendo Wii. It's funny how it seems so difficult to ...
Thursday the 9th
Today was really a pretty exceptional day. The usual hanging out with friends and eating lunch togther, of course ... but I even worked in some sketching and inking, spray painting a new project and a little bass practice too. Last night's LOST fall season finale was quite spectacular. Maybe not so much, in that ...

Write a comment

Your e-mail address is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *

*

*

:

:

 

Back to Top