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Hitch (2005)

Posted on Thursday, June 23rd, 2005 under Reviews | No comments

2 out of 5 allergic face swellsDirected by Andy Tennant

My immediate response for a comment on this movie (10 times in a row) is "it was 'aight, but it's not my kind of movie." I'm still sticking to that.

Will Smith is a good actor and I've really like most of the movies he has been cast in (though I may have to hurt someone down at the cable company if I have to watch another late-nite Fresh Prince of Bel Air episode ... what happened? Did you lose copies of every other sitcom EVER run? Do people really love F.P. that much? I doubt it.) And although I am not particularlly fond of Kevin James, his "King of Queens" acting can be borderline funny at times.

I guess my biggest issues with this movie are the following:

1) It's another one of those P.T.W. (Power to Women) movies where after seeing it, women like to blather on about how good/bad their relationships are in comparison to these fictional characters (by the way, ladies, although some elements of this movie are true-to-life ... they are only that way thanks to years of deluding and deranged 'programming' by corporate Hollywood) and how they wish their "man" (another lovely term that was coined by ghetto-talking illiterates that has now moved into an obnoxious place in pop-culture) would find a guy like this to help them "romance" women (or more specifically, learn how to lie in such a way as to APPEASE the opposite sex's Hollywood-induced fantasies).

2) It's the same old love story that begins with the two protagonists meeting and falling in love (insert cheesy music and birds chirping) and then some minute detail is misunderstood or misconstrued and suddenly passion and love turn to immediate hatred (Ya know, a few moments ago, you had a never-ending love and now you can't look past the fact that she/he did whatever little thing to make you mad? Ridiculous!). Right about here we get some abusive yelling, flared tempers, and (my favorite!) some way that the women "gets back at her man" and then trashes him with her crew/ladies/girlfriends ... which apparently audiences enjoy, because its been in every chick flick in the past couple of years. Then of course, there is the intermediary that will somehow understand love unlike others do and he is able to help the two find "love" again. Sigh. Puke. Yawn.

Watch it if you are forced to, but trust me, bring along a few issues of "Deadpool/Cable" ... it will help tide you over until the blooper reel, which is mildly amusing.

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